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Touching story...

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


My husband is an engineer by profession. I love him for his steady nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce. "Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him? And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right... It's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question.... If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind." Let's say; I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?" He said: "I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just sank by listening to his response. I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....

My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but .... please allow me to explain the reasons further....." This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. "When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love travelling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand...and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die ... " My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting ... and as I continue reading... "Now, that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favourite bread and fresh milk..." I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread.... Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone... That's LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form ... Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands ... AND THAT'S LIFE The happiest people in the world... are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect. LOVE is not just between two lovers, husband and wife--it also encompasses mother, father and siblings, sisters and brothers, friends and neighbours! Until I think of you again with the next warm life touching story...

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posted by Zen
4:42 PM

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The art of striking up a conversation

You know how it is… There's this person who works in your building... takes the same subway... gets coffee every morning at your Starbucks… and, well, you find them super attractive. So much so that you'd like to know more about them and maybe even go out on a date. If only you could find the way to strike up a conversation...

So many of us find it difficult - some nearly even impossible - to start talking to strangers. Maybe because it was so ingrained in us as kids that it was dangerous to do so, or maybe precisely the opposite: that as adults we're all too aware of the sting of rejection...

Whatever the case, in the grown-up world - one without unnecessary ego attachments (after all, a conversation in the coffeeshop does not mean you've met your soulmate… however, it is possible), there's nothing wrong with chatting up that cutie who's caught your eye. In fact, you may be missing out on an opportunity if you don't at least smile and say hello...

On that note…
Believe it or not, the best thing to do might just be that simple… Smile sincerely. You know, not that plastered on I'm-terrified-doing-this kind of smile but rather a genuine, warm greeting and say hi. Ask how they are. Ask if they come here often (ironically of course - because you both know you see each other in this space almost everyday).

Say anything...
If it's the first time you're noticing this person, don't let that stop you. A little common, everyday friendliness - mention uncharacteristic weather, a headline in the news (particularly if a paper's in sight) or even the traffic - and the door is opened to communication. Remember, your "pick up line" need not be a line at all (in fact, it shouldn't be!), nor does it have to be the most creative conversation in the world. The point is to let the person know you've noticed them and have a conversation.

If you're still searching, take note of common ground. Even though the person in question may be a stranger, there's no doubt you share something in common. (See the aforementioned… whereever it is, you both come here often… or at least right now!). Just remember, don't be afraid and what's the worst that can happen? They don't respond in a friendly fashion? If that's the case, you're not really interested anyway, are you?

Close the deal...
If you aren't particularly shy and can take it past a smile and hello, make your introduction more personal by noticing - and commenting on - something specific about your potential paramour. Are they wearing a new coat? Did they get a haircut? Do you always notice their shoes/watch/beverage of choice? Whatever the detail, ask about it. Compliment it. Show - casually of course - without seeming stalker-like - that you've paid attention to them in the past (or that you're paying attention at that moment). A person who is similarly interested will take the hint most of the time.

Check yourself...
Lastly, if this whole idea makes you nervous, ask yourself why? What have you got to lose? Better to try talking and get no response than wonder about that "missed connection," right? If it helps, remember that people who are skilled at talking with strangers rarely plumb the depths with them in casual conversation. They start simple. They smile. They comment on the world around them. Then they find out, courtesy of the universe and its energy, that great things can happen, when you're not afraid to reach out for the smallest human connection

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posted by Zen
4:39 PM

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Chances given yet again...

Sunday, February 24, 2008


15 days passed just like tat and our new year is over... This year round i'm not sure why my dad gave us more ang bao than the last few years... Got around $256 for ang bao... But sad to say that i have debts to pay so not much difference to m bank account la...

Anyway i went to expo and met ting to talk about our relationship... I told her yesterday that i wanted to give up everything since i'm so uphappy and tired... Talked for about one hour and i gave her the letter that i wrote few days back... She understand how i felt and i told her everything that is unbearable...

In the end as predicted by Jem, another chance was given to her... But i told her tat i want her to assure and convince me that the chance given is really cherished if not i will still give up this relationship... I dont want to be gud for a few days and after that it's back to normal (like how it is presently)... So i told her to think carefully for a few days before she make any decision...

Hai... I yearn for a simple and happy relationship... Will i get it finally??? The answer lies awaiting...

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posted by Zen
10:04 PM

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Valentine's Day...

Sunday, February 17, 2008


This year we actually planned to go out for our celebration but due to some last min changes, e stayed home instead... I helped her to buy her dinner and went to her house with lots of bags as i also helped her to buy toilet papers...

I did not know that there were quite a number of people at her house until she opened her door... They were gambling happily... I gave her her V-Day's present and i went to put our dinner down while saying hi to her frends etc...

She was happily gambling away and i was watching them gamble since i dont know how to play their style... I was thinking... I thought she was feeling unwell??? She seems fine to me after all... Happily gambling and enjoying... I was thinking hard... After aboout 45 mins the game finally ended...

Went home around 10 plus and went to slp... Not much mood to do anything else... Just another ordinary day for me... By the way no more scv from now on... Boring boring boring... People's nick in msn says lonely V-Day... But compare it with an unhappy V-Day which woule yoou choose??? Your choice...

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posted by Zen
7:11 PM

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Chinese New Year @ 9th of Feb...

Sunday, February 10, 2008


My mum invited some relatives to have steamboat at our place... Nt abad one as i felt the warmth of spending time with my love ones... I slept till around 6 plus and went to Jem's place...

Initially when he asked me over, i thought his relatives were all gone... My god... There were ALOT of people there lor... Ma jiam like bringing gf to visit his relatives sia... Lol... Of coz there's gambling session la...

Blackjack was gud for me... My luck was really gud... Got quite a number of blackjack and the cards i drawn is always the card i wanted... In the end i won $17... Think this is the most i won in a single day... Lol... Poor me... Hope there's more to come and my luck will continue...

We played majong around 2am and the game ended in around 2 hours time... To my surprised i actually won $5... This is the first time i played majong alone and won $$ lor... Haha although not much but i'm really happy man... Improvement and also my luck is gud!!!

We stopped for a while around 4 plus 5 to makan something since everyoneis hungry... Played in between after our break... This is really a fuck up game man.. You got an ace and a king and you show hand... In the end you got back a king... PAYED DOUBLE!!! That was when my luck was beginning to fade away... It was really tempting to showhand when u get the gud cards but in the end most of the times u pay back double... zzz... In the end i lost $50 plus but Jem's frends steady sia... Say dun need to pay playe for fun only... Lol... The game ended at 7am...

We continued to playmajong at 7am... Damn it was almost over my sleeping timing already man... Played till 9 plus in the morning (SUNDAY ALREADY) and everybody was shag... Real shag... In the end i lost $18... Damn spent 14 hours gambling and i still lost $1... ARGHHHH!!!!

Still cant slp when i got home coz tai they all were here to play ball... Damn them sia never tell me earlier that they were gonna play... I was already "very high" and i still continued to play till around 12... Finally i bathe hao and went to slp... Took me about 20 mins to fall asleep man... Damn it... That was the longest hours i stayed awake... Anyway my xiao pang is finally back!!! :>

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posted by Zen
8:10 PM

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Chinese New Year @ 8th of Feb...

No place to go and nobody jio me to go anywhere so i rested and nua at home for the whole day... Jem asked me to go Alvin's place but that was already 11pm and i was too lazy to go out already... Just a normal slacking and resting day for me...

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posted by Zen
8:06 PM

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Chinese New Year @ 7th of Feb...

I din really have much slp and went out for visiting already... We went to those same relative's places on that day for visiting... Everybody is fine and doing well except my (Dao bo)po po... Initially i was thinking how come she was talking without much strength after only one year since our last visit... After that then i knew that she had a stroke... I felt really sad for her coz we really like her quite alot... Like our real grandma... Really pity her...

By the way her house is just beside the place where i waited for shuttle bus everyday in the morning... So after visiting her my dad drove up to my camp and let my mum, bro and sis witness the power of MONKEYS... Of coz wows and wahs were there but i was like numb to it already man...

The routine for new year will be gathering at Drew's place for steamboat and gamble... Haha it was better than the eve... I won $2 in the end...

We went to Yishun and watched Kung Fu Dunk after that gambling session... Really a carbon copy of Shaolin Soccer sia... Not really very nice show la... The casting and character is almost similar to those of Shaolin Soccer...

Reached home around 3plus and slept at 4 again... :)

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posted by Zen
7:53 PM

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Eve of CNY 6th of Feb 08...

Early in the morning we had our very own SAFAC CNY celebration... It was a hawker center buffet style brunch la... Nothing special and much about it only that it will be the last one i will have in this camp... Lol...

Went back home and slept all the way until the reunion dinner... Had it at the same place again... At Tiong Bahru's restaurant... The food was okay only but the price was really quite ex...

As usual after dinner everyone will gather at Tai's place for our yearly Chu Xi gambling session...

Played blackjack and poker whih ended up in losing $1.50... Lol... Poker nearly made me lose everything but luckily i fought back... Reached home around 3 plus and slept at 4... Happy New Year everyone!!!

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posted by Zen
7:43 PM

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Sentences...

-> Letting go of someone you love is as good as remembering someone you have not met...

-> It only take one moment to lose someone so treasure the person beside you cause you will never know when they will be gone...

-> There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!!!

-> When the door of happiness closes, another opens; but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one, which has been opened for us...

-> Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile...

-> Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do...

-> May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy...

-> The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way...

-> The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches...

-> The most beautiful things in life are those that come by chance, and you turned that chance into an opportunity and eventually a step closer to your dreams...

-> Life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breaths away...

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posted by Zen
7:32 PM

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